do you see the resemblance?

I think I'm on to something, at least my Satchel's in much better taste.

The Circle of Crap

stuff. useless items. in-adamant objects. crap.

I've found any number of the above on my doorstep when I get home in the evenings. It's not like I don't know who put the crap there, that I have no question about. If I find bags of old clothes, lunch meat, table cloths or empty boxes I know my mother has dropped by. She leaves these care packages on my carport each time she visits my house. It's like she's cleaned out her closet, garage or refrigerator and thinks of me. She bags up these creative collections and leaves them here at my door, it's kind of like christmas, ya know? Except you didn't ask for it, and most of the time you wind up throwing it out- but at least it's a surprise.

My sisters and I came up with this theory about mom's little presents she distributes, you see, it is a circle. If one of us manages to pass the "crap" back to my mother she doesn't just throw it away she re-distributes it to another offspring. So unless one of throws the item away or breaks the "circle" the items just keep resurfacing.

Tonight's gift was great, in fact it was tasty. She left a 1/2 lb. of deli turkey with some muenster cheese slices. Funny, this time it was the placement of the items. When I opened my screen door, laying on the threshold of my door was a zip lock bag full of lunch meat. Thank goodness it was wrapped well, I don't care for shoe dirt on my turkey.

Thanks mom, it may be crap, but because it's from you, I love it.

First Kiss

As requested by my friend Jen, this blog goes out to you.

K- let me give you some back ground. I ran around with the fast crowd in elementary school, and by fast I mean kissing was a recreational activity during recess. It was like, are you going play kick ball, hang out on the monkey bars or hide behind the tunnel and kiss? Who knew that I would get more lip action in the fifth grade than my entire college years? Anyway, the twisted playground activities were very innocent, it consisted of cheek pecks to full on lip contact (never tongue - ewww) in which some times we would time each other and compete for the longest kissing record.

Now for the real sloppy material:
In the 6th grade I was "going out" with RW (names with held for privacy) whom I'd grown up with since before I could remember. RW was a class clown type, but pretty cute by middle school boy standards- big smile, blond hair and the best thing...he adored me. I was always the girl he chased. He had all the right moves for a 12 year old -he'd call me at sleep-overs, stalk me in the halls, lip-sync Bon Jovi songs in the school talent show..; Ahh those were the days. Moving on. We had one more thing in common, we went to the same Baptist church here in our quaint little town. And this fact is important and this is where it gets good.

Being Baptist we had an out standing date for our Wednesday nights. We would meet at our church for GA's and RA's (children's bible study) and meet on the church play ground afterward and we'd swing until our parents picked us up. This was a good plan until we decided to stray from our usual boundaries and peer pressure crept into our compact little minds.

Now you need to know another fact in the this story and that is not only am I Baptist, I'm Southern Baptist and so is my father, he's a Deacon in the church. And often times as part of his Deacon duties he would have security duties at the church. This is were the "Deacon of the Week" (true term) would walk around the parking lots of our church and greet & help people to there cars at night. Basically stay at the church until the activities were over and everyone had left the church grounds. This means roaming the grounds of the church at all hours.

Back to were the peer pressure crept in...
It was like any other Wed. at school until my best girl friend at the time CG passes me a note saying that RW has plans to plant the big one on me at church tonight. When I realized what that meant, I remember the shock that paralyzed my entire body. Trying to act ever so cool, I totally responded to CG in a note that I was so glad RW had finally worked up the nerve and if he was serious then he could meet me in the GA class room after we're dismissed to the play ground. SO, of coarse by the EOD the entire 6th grade class knew our plans and RW met me "at the busses" at dismissal. He acknowledged our plans and sent me well wishes until our randevu that evening.

Just before Wed. night church, my mother debriefs me as to the car pooling plan of the evening. Dad would be taking me because he has "Deacon Duty" but my older sister P would be picking me up so that Dad could stay later.

I don't remember anything about GA's that night, no memories of bible lessons, craft projects or snack time but the true state of fear I was in, knowing that very soon I would be frenching RW in this very room. Class time ended, I said my good byes to all my GA friends and being that they knew the plans, they're glares haunted me as they left the room. I remember looking out the window and watching them skip to the big metal swing set and hearing RW enter the room behind me. We embraced and staring deep into his eyes I said " I don't know what I should do" he responded "just close your eyes and I'll take over" (pretty freaky that a 12 yr. boy said that? now I'm thinking -what did he do to be so experienced-eeww again)

And then the sloppiness began. It was so wet and sloppy that I still remember thinking "how gross this kissing thing is!" But one after another the kisses kept coming. Now, I'm not sure how much time elapsed, this is where we lost about a 1/2 an hour but I remember hearing the closed door swing open and I hear my fathers booming voice say my full formal name.

He continues yelling " This is were you've been, I am so disappointed in you" and immediately I see my father turn toward RW and walk towards him. RW shoots from the room by way of a second door and all I see is blond hair running full sprint down the church hall way. I immediately bust into tears from the trauma that has just fallen on me. The pure passion of my first french kiss was yanked from me. And now the fear and sheer embarrassment of my father chasing RW from the room was all a 12yr. old heart could take.

Apparently my sister and her boyfriend (this is now my brother-n-law of 16 yrs.) had been waiting for me for a very long time and had sent my father to go look for me. As I entered the back seat of an 83 honda civic my tears turned to sobes as they got part of the story from my father. He could not even form the words it took to tell my sister what he had just saw. I burst out from my ranting " Daddy just caught me kissing RW in the church!" A serious look from my sister turned to a full on smile and then to laughter as they probed as to what type of kissing RW and I had done. We the kising details were expunged she stopped laughing a little and she said, "Oh man, you are so going to get it when Daddy gets home, we've gotta see this"

So to say the least my first kissing experience was full of drama, I do remember being grounded for a month and I was not allowed to be alone with boys in rooms at church ever again.

RW and I remained good friends all the way though high school, he was such a great guy, very smart. He continued to be "that guy" who always propositioned me for dates and it even became a joke later on that when he'd ask me out I'd always say that i just couldn't get over our traumatic past.

As for Dad, for the longest time we never spoke of that night again. But sooner or later I started teasing him about it and how I would never forget the look in my Daddy's eyes, as he saw me in the embrace of a 12yr old boy.

Do you remeber your first kiss?


Read another first kiss blog @
http://okayseriously.blogspot.com/2005/04/my-first-real-kiss.html

Five

In leu of Kara's most recent post here's my 5:

Joaquin Phoenix

Hugh Jackman

Tom Welling

Heath Ledger

Nicholas Cage

I'm a Genie in a bottle

Dumb song but interesting topic.

If you ever find a genie in a bottle, what would your 3 wishes be?

Mine would be:
• Photographic memory
• Ability to do math with out "carrying the one"
• A ski lodge in Montana with a bear proof perimeter

that girl's a work horse

i've grown up with always having a job to do. my life as I know it has been filled with projects, tasks and assignments. I can't visit my own parents with out being ask to fix something when there. i've done every odd job know to man for friends and family - painted a motor-home roof, cleaned houses, design rooms, painted murals, design web pages, laid sod, tailored clothing, design bedding and pillows, fixed leaky pipes, remove wallpaper, laid tile and wood flooring, wedding planner, photographer for hire, installed faucets, set up many wireless networks in friends homes, personal shopper (furniture, clothing, & jewelry), hung off scaffolding cleaning very high windows, vcr repair and digital theater/stereo installation but i was best at running random errands for people. once while at a guy friends house in high school, his father paid me to change his windshield wiper blades because of his "lack of mechanical skills" That made me feel great - now I was hired help a guy's home that I had a crush on. why can't I just exist around other human beings with out someone finding job form me to do?

every girl dreams of being call a work horse, a large sweaty steed that works in the fields. it just makes you feel all special inside. but because I have a very positive outlook on life i took this noble title as a complement. i've been called determined, and stubborn before - but it's funny, cause i guess my worst fear is that someone thinks that I'm lazy. i don't sit well with lazy. i stick with the motto I received from a county song a while back, "I'd rather die trying".